It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
