How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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