Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
