Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
