i don't like sucking hair
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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