OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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