The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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