FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
