the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
