what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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