Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
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