people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
