We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
