A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
