ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
