My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize