It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you would pick up someone in the library
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You need a sexual gate keeper
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
