even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
