that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
