Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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