she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
