if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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