if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
