so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
im on a boat
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