Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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