I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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