he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i drank out of a bidet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize