Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
