She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it glows. i had to have it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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