Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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