ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
