Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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