I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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