I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
