How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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