I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
