Four minutes until I can fart!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
