Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
