We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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