i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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