I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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