We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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