1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
