I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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