i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
