Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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