dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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