he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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