We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
