I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
