Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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