I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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