Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
