does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
