it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
