The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
