found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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