D3 body, D1 cock
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize