3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
