yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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