we made out on top of his cat.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
