Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
