Will you blow on my dice?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
