ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
